How To Not Overeat During The Holidays

One of the things that I love more than anything at midlife is the opportunity to completely debunk the so called “traditions” and expectations that have been laid on us for a lifetime but are really dysfunctional, damaging and down right dumb. While there’s lot of them the tradition that I’m talking about right now is that idea that it’s okay to stuff ourselves to the gills during the holidays.

I feel like in the past decade of so, this idea of excess at the cost of our health has extended far beyond how we behave at the table. It’s gone on to concepts like “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” and all the other supposed holiday traditions that we’re supposed to buy into (literally) even if it isn’t necessarily in line with our bank account.

The truth of the matter is that this insatiable hunger isn’t about food or things. It’s about looking for comfort and security. Most of us have not been raised with the tools to recognize other ways to feel nourished and in turn we end up with a rude awakening come January when our clothes don’t fit and our credit card statements arrive. Speaking of credit cards, did you know that around 80% of American households have on average $15.000 worth of credit card debt? Something’s not being addressed here and food and things aren’t the answer.

In this week’s video, I share five of the key things I do so that my food is a pleasure and not a punishment. I apply the same philosophy to my spending habits as well. It means that I don’t look at this time of year as a way to go into denial and that to me is a tradition worth enjoying, year after year.

My question for you is what holiday tradition would you like to upgrade or ditch altogether? What new way of celebration is in line with your life? You have complete permission to do it – we’re all big girls now, after all.


How To Deal With Criticism At Midlife

In this week’s vlog, I’m sharing ways to deal with judgment and criticism that are based on personal experience. I can’t tell you how many times I speak with women who want to do big, glorious, amazing things but they just can’t take that first step and it’s down to one thing. They’re worried what others will think. Some are so worried that they don’t even dare tell their partner or closest friend.

There’s a very cool blog post by Seth Godin that explains that failure is certain. Regardless of how successful you are or how special a project you create is, someone is not going to like it. It’s a guarantee. Even the most beloved figures of all times from Jesus to Madonna have had their fair share of critics.

Godin puts it this way ,”Once you realize that failure is certain, it’s a lot easier to focus on impact instead”.

I think in the back of our minds we believe we have a combination of an endless supply of time to make our dreams happen and that a “knight on a white horse” is going to come to our rescue and deliver our dream to us. When I realized that neither of those scenarios would happen, I knew that I simply didn’t have the luxury to worry about what others thought. It was time to get busy.

What would you do with your life if you didn’t have to worry about what others would say? Watch my video and hopefully there’s something from my story that will show you that when you back yourself – even if you get judged – the world doesn’t stop turning. In fact, I think it turns a little bit smoother and sweeter, simply because you ignored the faceless thoughts and voices with opinions and did what you needed to do to live your purpose.

How To Make Friends At Midlife

Most of us have grown up with the concept that friendships will be with us for life. But what happens when we change, but a friend doesn’t? It can feel devastating. Against the grain of everything we’ve learned. The status of our friendships isn’t just a Facebook thing at midlife. This is a time where transition is in the air. We leave a job and lose friends. The parents of our kids friends move on once our kids grow up. Or it’s just about us. We grow up.



There are those amazing friendships that do last forever. The key I think to those is that these relationships have a balance where each other’s needs are appropriate for each other. When they get out of balance, hanging in there for the sake of not rocking the concept of friendship is where things get painful.

I mention in the vlog that there are solid ways you can meet new friends but I can’t say it enough. Before you do these, take the time to ask yourself those tough questions about what you need to do to bring exquisite balance into these new relationships. Your new friends will thank you by being the quality ones you long for.

Resources for making friends: – connect in real time with people from all walks of life on topics you’re interested in.

Article on How To Meet Friends

Podcast I did on Meeting Friends At Midlife


Starting Over At Midlife ? Do This

Earlier this week, I taught a class at Sydney’s Dress For Success on the subject “Over 50, So What?” It was about changing belief systems and the role these beliefs play in the decisions that we make in our lives. One aspect of the class was talking about the topic that I cover in this week’s vlog – examining the people around us.


When we’re going through a massive life change such as starting over, it’s near impossible to successfully transition to a better outcome without taking a good hard look, not only at yourself, but your inner circle. I know this from personal experience because before I started working with women over 40, and was in my old career as a television producer, I was spending most of my working hours alongside people I really couldn’t turn to. I had no mentors. No one who was inspiring me on a 9-5 basis. Thank god for my husband, Dale. He was there for me when everything was so challenging and I think it was because of him that I knew, when I finally reached a fork in the road to go down a career path that was more aligned with who I was (and am), that I knew my standards of people in my life had to match him, even if it meant starting from scratch.

It took time but it was worth it. Now, every single person in my “inner circle” is the type of person I look up to, can be myself to, is there when life is up or down. And even the outer rings of this circle are full of great people. Backing myself, improving what I brought to the friendship table, and ensuring that I was serious about going into my next chapter with the strongest foundation possible resulted in me being proud to be the average of the people I spend time with. It didn’t happen overnight, it wasn’t easy – because it can get a little lonely initially- but it certainly has made the difference for me.

I’m quite reflective of those challenging times in my mid 40’s and during a time like this month, where I’ve been able to bring new projects into the world, I feel very grateful for the lessons I learned. Starting over is actually a GOOD thing.

So it’s been a busy month of birthing work babies.  First there’s been the soft launch of my book “Gray Hair Adventure: Things I Learned About Life When I Stopped Dyeing My Hair”  and while that’s happening I’m recording the audio version of my book. I also recently launched a new course on the learning platform called “Finding Purpose In Life After 40“. The eleven lesson course is based on my book How To Find Your Purpose After 40 and man, if I would’ve encountered this course all those years back I would’ve grabbed it with both hands. It has the exact steps that I took to get to this point and I’m really excited to share it. If you’re interested in enrolling, you can get a 20% discount at check out by clicking this link and searching for my course “Finding Purpose In Life After 40” with the search icon on the tool bar.

Thanks for visiting and if you need any ideas for forming a new posse at this time of life, leave a comment and I’ll give you some ideas. x Sue

When Perimenopause Symptoms Go Too Far

Lately I’ve been getting very similar questions regarding perimenopause (the lead up to menopause) and they revolve around a couple common but problematic symptoms: anxiety and thinning hair. While both of these can be associated with hormonal changes related to perimenopause, they can also be symptomatic of underlying issues. The even bigger problem is that because we women have basically been forced to be our own change guru’s, a lot of us think we have no choice but to suck it up and in turn become vulnerable to trying potentially harmful to useless DIY approaches, from self medicating to endlessly testing miracle cures to figure out solutions.

I manage my perimenopause symptoms daily. You know my drill already. I have my daily yoga, meditation and walking practice. On top of this a glass of wine or a cup of coffee is a rarity rather than a part of my life. Refined sugar is gone as is flour products (except for a piece of nice bread for a special breakfast out once or twice a month). I’ve been doing three months of acupuncture treatments and am down now to once a month. I journal, I nap, I this and that. The list of things I’m actively doing to feel good seems to grow. And all of this isn’t just a quick fix. These habits began years ago and have been added on and practiced consistently, especially over the last couple years.

It’s not a quick fix. It’s a long game strategy to not only get through this key time but to set myself up for as much good health as I can control in the decades to come.

Through email messages and the Interwebs, I’m understanding that many of us are suffering more than we need to. We’re expecting to feel like crap during this time and the levels to which we’ll tolerate sub-health are getting extended as we become more disillusioned with doctors who don’t seem to know how to help us. It’s no surprise that when something really troubling happens to us, we either don’t want to go to the doctor or we may not even have one who can help us.

So in this vlog I ask you to hone into your intuition, into your gut. Let your gut be the guide to if you need to take your health to the next level. Perimenopause is a natural transition that happens to also be a very brilliant messenger. Answer the mail. You deserve it.



What’s Your Money Story?

In this week’s vlog I talk about something I never dreamed that I’d be interested in discussing in public and that’s money. I guess the key word in this sentence is “interested”. For me, the subject of money has always brought up feelings ranging from boredom and disinterest to anxiety and even undeserved shame. I still don’t know exactly why the “shame” thing shows up but I’ll figure it out eventually.

The bottom line, and of course, that’s the language of money speaking, is that I’m choosing to no longer engage in this dysfunctional relationship. I’m breaking up with it.

For the past year I’ve been on a very slow, step by step, unraveling of my money story. It began with focusing on abundance and then went on from there. It’s been a time travel back to when I was a child. It’s the kind of stuff I had to be a grown up to understand. And more than that. I had to be ready and willing to understand it. I emphasize this because in this year I’ve learned that many of us, millions of us, choose to stay in the dark with our money. We have no idea what’s in our bank accounts. We have no idea how much debt we have. We have no idea what our expenses are. We have no idea our self worth. We have no idea our value. The list of the “no idea’s” goes on and on.

But a while back it hit me. What if I applied the same energy and attitudes to this money thing that I do every aspect of my life that is working. What if I could turn it into something that has joy and abundance attached to it rather than drudgery.

But the first stop has been uncovering my money story and how that taught me to engage with it as an adult. This was like letting a genie out of a bottle. It was like saying “Okay money thing, I’m ready to meet you and see  who you really are.”

Speaking about money often leaves us feeling vulnerable but I’m finding now, with practice, that it can actually be empowering. So, if you’re reading this and any of it resonates, I’d love to explore more with you on the subject of how we all learned “to do” money. Watch the video and then, tell me YOUR money story.

My Game Plan For The Second Half Of Life

I regularly get asked,”Is it too late for me to….(fill in the blank here)? On every subject from starting a new business to learning yoga, there seems to be something buried deep within us that either doubts or rejects the concept of starting over because of the numbers of candles on our cake.

But when it comes to not trying again, the numbers just don’t add up. To not go after a major goal at any age, especially at midlife is just plain sad. Look at it this way. If we’re gonna live to see triple digits – and many of us will – not taking a chance could mean years, and I mean possibly decades of not living the life of your dreams.



Society doesn’t want us to look at it this way. There’s a good chance that you’ll have friends or family that don’t look at life like this as well. That’s fine. But just know you have a choice.

This week I’m a little light on my blog post and I hope that’s okay. I’m getting to the very pointy end of publishing my book on gray hair as well as finalizing my first video course which is based on my book How To Find Your Purpose After 40.  and I’m stretched to the limit. It’s a good thing but it’s intense. I should be back to normal in another month or so but I do want to say that these projects are just a couple of examples of how I use the long game strategy that I talk about in the vlog. They’ve required discipline, practice, baby steps and haven’t happened over night. In fact they will evolve into other things I’m sure. But the one thing I can tell you is that they’ve come from a place of starting over and not questioning that journey even when it feels like the goal post is so far away.

If you’ve got a possibility of starting over and aren’t sure what baby step to take, please leave me a post and I’ll be happy to give you a direction.


Why I Don’t Play “The Age Card”

I’m coming down to the pointy end of a period where I’ve been creatively working non stop. It’s been intense. I’ve finished my book on growing my hair out gray (Gray Hair Adventure: Things I Learned About Life When I Stopped Dyeing My Hair out Oct 1 2015) and am in the final stages of publishing. At the same time I’m currently editing my first online video course, a companion to my book How To Find Your Purpose After 40: The Secret To Unlocking Your Unique Gift To The World. On top of that I’ve just finished knocking out the draft of a class I’m going to be giving soon to my favorite volunteer organization Dress For Success.



It’s definitely one of those “when it rains it pours times”. And as exhausting and challenging and sometimes scary as it’s been – because I’m doing new things- this is me living my purpose. And as exhausting and challenging and sometimes scary as it’s been, I’ve continued to take care of myself. My yoga has become mandatory rather than something I should push under the rug because of time. My mind seems to finally stop dancing so much when I do my morning sitting, after nearly a year of solid practice, this meditation thing seems to be working. And funny enough, I’m doing this without wine, coffee, refined sugar, dairy and wheat. I want to feel good not only now while I’m going through all this but when I emerge from it.

And another thing. I’ve recently had to learn how to do so many things and on top of that, all the things that I learned recently have had to go another level. If you could’ve told me five years ago that by this time in my life I would have three books under my belt or that I would be able to write, produce, present, edit and everything else that’s needed for a twelve lesson online course I would’ve said “No way”.

I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m bragging. What I’m trying to say is that my age has not factored in to anything in my life. It doesn’t keep me from taking care of myself and investigating what I need to be healthy. It doesn’t keep me from learning new things and getting out of my comfort zone. It doesn’t keep me from taking 100% responsibility for my words and actions.

I feel grateful that somewhere, somehow, I learned how to question the idea that a number determines not only what I’m capable of but how people respond to me. I had to have learned that from someone right? I guess that’s why when I hear someone blaming age for something I recoil. I don’t want to hear it and I don’t want my daughters to hear it. It’s not that I live with my head in the sand but so far, I see no reasons whatsoever why age has to play a role in how we want to live and move in this world.

If I did, I certainly wouldn’t be typing this now.




How To Deal With A Complainer

The other day I spent an hour with a complainer. And it was fascinating. Whether it was talking about her job, her age, her health, her husband, her, well, everything, it didn’t matter. Everything was sucking.



At first, her complaints were easy breezy, just flowing in and out of our conversation. Fair enough. We all have bad days and sometimes it feels good to unload. And in that conversation, I bounced back a bit of easy breezy advice.

Waste of time.

Fortunately it didn’t take me long to get that I was in the company of a professional. This was more than just complaining. This woman took complaining to a level of fine art. And I knew there was nothing I could do but watch and learn.

A couple of the learnings:

Once was enough: Walks like a duck, talks like a duck, is a duck. Sometimes we think if we give people another chance, that they might be different but then curse ourselves when nope, they’re exactly the same. It’s perfectly okay to not continue a relationship with someone who isn’t aligned with your values (and anything else that’s important to you).

Helping others isn’t always necessary: When I offered some suggestions to solve whatever it was that was being complained about, that was actually my bad. This is especially important for coaches, or anyone who’s a “fixer”  to be reminded about and that is we have to be sensitive to the needs of others and know that help isn’t always wanted, even when it seems obvious that it’s needed. If I would’ve held off for about five more minutes, I would’ve seen that I was spending my time with someone who speaks via complaining the way some people speak with accents. It was just business as usual for her and wasn’t meant to be fixed by me.

Everyone and everything is our teacher: Once I got that this wasn’t a conversation, this was a classroom, everything was so much better. That’s a good mindset to have whenever you find yourself in a situation or with company who challenge you. I left the conversation knowing that it wasn’t enough to just focus on what a drag the past hour had been. That would’ve been complaining right? I needed to remember that this was a message to me. What words come out of my mouth in general conversations? Do I communicate in a way that serves the conversation and who I’m with? Is there room for improvement?

Thanks to this fascinating conversation with a content complainer, you can bet that my focus will be on ensuring that the answers to those questions are yes.


How Do I Cope With Change That I DON’T Want!

Change happens. And it surprises us. We’re trained from a super young age to expect that life is going to tick boxes. We’re primed to have a vision of ourselves conforming to a certain plan and even when we grow up and know that life often has other ideas, we get very surprised when they actually happen to us.



It might be a job that you feel you have to tolerate – even though you don’t love, or even like it. It might be that you had to move somewhere without much of a choice. Maybe a parent has had to move in with you. Those are just some of the ways that change can feel like an enemy.

When you’re in the thick of this situation, it can be hard to have a shift of perspective. The mind almost wants to stay in a place of only seeing the problem. It feels good and comforting to long for the way things were and reject the present. In many ways, one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to practice the tips that I talk about in the video all the time, not just when things suck. That way you have built in reinforcements that you can use – almost on autopilot. You’ll find if you do this, you’ll have a much different outlook on challenge that will give you an advantage to working out ways to make things better.

But of all things, changing our minds about change – knowing that this is what life is about, like it or not, is the most important concept of all. A crummy situation, will change, even if it’s just a willingness to see it in a different and higher way.

If you’re familiar with 12 Steps, you’ll know about that very anchoring prayer, The Serenity Prayer. It’s a very eloquent nudge for us to surrender to challenges when the time calls for it and to somehow, ditch enough ego and gather up enough courage to be okay with change, even when it feels brutal. The words are non religious and worth knowing.

There’s a very cool musical version of the Serenity Prayer by One Giant Leap, that I used to love finishing my yoga practice to. Have a listen:



Have you ever experienced a challenging period that you had to ride through? How did you handle it? What did you learn about yourself by going through it? I’d love to know – post a comment and share with me.