I had a weird dream the other night. In it, strangers were sticking acupuncture needles into my body and I was pulling them out. It was more annoying and uncomfortable than painful but it went on and on and when I finally woke up and downloaded the dream to my husband, I knew it was weird enough to investigate further.
So I went and Googled “I’m dreaming of being attacked by strangers with needles” and several dream dictionaries came up. Some just offered interpretations of what dreaming of needles meant. Others defined what dreams that involve strangers mean. I kind of threw everything I came up with into a hat in my head and pulled out a grand interpretation. Not good! Evidently I was a heaping pile of deep internal, and harmful, conflict.
Even though it was “just a dream” and everything in my world was really good, there was truth in that result. Lately I’ve been feeling the impact of perimenopause in a way I haven’t before and that is absolute exhaustion. But at the same time I have so much to do in my work. Put them together and they are like oil and vinegar, they just weren’t mixing. I was feeling guilty that I wasn’t producing as much as I had aimed for. I was feeling guilty for being wiped out.
Fortunately I don’t do guilt and I knew what really was happening here was that I was swimming against a tide. I was having a total Sisyphus moment, pushing a ball of “shoulds” and “have to’s” up a big, impossible hill of my body’s current needs.
And so I waved a white flag of surrender. And this is a fascinating feeling for me. It means I get to revisit what I’m doing and just do less. It means that rather than harm myself during a time of taking it easy and letting go, I can put some systems in place that are supportive so this surrender is a nurturing time.
For some, the idea of surrendering and being willing to do less, without having a guilt trip over it, is an impossible feat. If you’re feeling the clash of perimenopause and ego, or anything and ego, I dare you to wave a white flag.
In the podcast I mention a Ted Talk by Dr. Judith – here it is:
I also mention the book “The One Thing’ which challenges the supposed value of multitasking. Read more here
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And what about you? Where can you surrender in your life? Share with me how you use my three tips for waving your own white flag.