A Lifetime Of Healthy Enjoyable Sex

I was thinking about sex the other day and how it stacks up to the energy we give our other biological functions. For instance our bods. We know we gotta move ’em and we know the healthy ways to fuel them. And then there’s our minds. We know the importance of learning and having practices to calm and still our thoughts. I’m sure there are plenty of other ways I can explain the various levels of extreme care that we at least try to give these prongs of our health but when it comes to sex, a lot of us are okay with looking the other way.

Obviously this happens because of a few things. We haven’t been trained from the get go to see our sexuality as an integral part of our health or we were raised in a time where sex was way more taboo than it is now or we were brought up to believe that sex is just for young people and maybe even just for men. I’m not even going to touch religious beliefs or trauma.

I might not be a sex therapist or a doctor but I’ve been married for over 30 years and I’ve come to feel that a healthy sex life is as important as all the other things my body needs. It’s simple. It makes me feel good in just about every aspect. I don’t buy into the common thought that interest in sex drops after a certain age and these thoughts are acknowledged in growing research that suggests people who have an overall attitude of positivity, an emphasis in wellness and a life long interest in sex, continued to have a life long  sex. Yes hormones might mean we have to look for options and yes there might be times when we don’t have partners but the long and the short of sex is that a lot of it is in our minds, not our genitals. Sex is about how we communicate and how we think and how much we prioritize it.

I wanted to say all this in a podcast and I think it’s the start of some more conversations but what helped me focus it a bit more was when one of the subscribers on my newsletter mentioned that Viagra was playing havoc in her life. The tiniest bit of research revealed this is a huge problem. Women were actually getting hurt from their partner’s reliance on the drug and rather than talking it through, they were suffering in silence.

So here’s the deal. Sex is the same as all the other things we do for ourselves like eating well, exercise, sleep, and meditation. At its natural best it demands intelligence, patience, effort and communication. What would happen if you brought all of those things into the bedroom with you for the rest of your life? I think like all the areas we put effort in, the answer would be simple. You’d just feel better

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